Monday, November 7, 2011

[No Hero] 1-2: Help the master learn to sing

Dear Father:

I must confess that I have committed an unpardonable mistake: during the first week of work, I burned the young master’s soup and bread. If you were to know, you would most likely severely scold me as an incapable child!

Please bless me from the skies, so that I will not err again.


"It's alright! The steak is very good! The parfait is also delicious!"

This time, it was the young master’s turn to comfort me.

I cannot let the master comfort me. I forced myself to regain my senses and said, “Young master, I will go call a taxi. The karaoke is slightly far from here.”

The young master shook his head. “There’s no need. We can ride the motorcycles; I have two of them.”

Two? That probably means the motorcycles in the workroom. But, I thought those for decoration? I asked a bit uncertainly, “But, how is the young master going to bring them downstairs?”

The young master said confidently, “There’s an elevator inside the workroom.”

It looks like this house’s secrets are more than I had thought. I have been cleaning the workroom for a week, yet I completely did not see any elevator inside.

“Very well. But, Charles does not have a motorcycle license. He may have to inconvenience the young master to take Charles for a ride.”

The young master looked at me uncertainly, and asked, “License? I don’t have that kind of thing either. If you don’t have it, it should be fine, right?”

That is a good question.

There has never been the precedent of a vampire dying in a car accident, so, I think, I should not need to worry if the driver has a license. Therefore, I stepped onto the young master’s motorcycle and began my life’s first “Motorcycle Terror Chronicle”.

When I first began looking for a job as a butler, I had often met many obstacles because I was a vampire. But, today was the first time I have ever thought that my being a vampire was fortunate ……At least, I do not need to worry that in the next second a car will mash me and send me to become a “ghost" [1].

Still, even though I put it that way, the young master is actually very compliant to traffic rules; his speed does not go above or below the speed limit, and he also follows the traffic lights. But, apart from red lights, he very much dislikes pressing the brakes. Thus, when the front, right, and left all have cars blocking the way, he will use a very clever angle to weave through, then continue to dodge past a third car, fourth car……

Once, the young master even forced the motorcycle down to……an angle of forty-five degrees with the ground, then slipped through the small space between a large tour bus and the sidewalk.

As the young master continued to wind his way through the cars, at the same time he also called, “Charles, I forgot to ask you. Can you fly?”

Is the purpose of this question to ask that, if there were an accident, I could take him and fly away? I called back, “Charles cannot fly, young master, but I can jump very high and very far.”

“Ah, that’s a pity,” the young master sounded very dejected.

I immediately called, “No, young master, Charles can jump away with you in time.”


The young master suddenly braked hard. I was caught off guard, and my face then my part of my body falling forward onto the young master’s back. Fortunately, I was a vampire, so my reflexes were faster than normal humans—and I also had the ability to act against the tendency for “when an object is stopping, it will continue to rush forward”. Thus, I was able to freeze in place, preventing myself from falling onto the young master’s back completely.

The young master took off his helmet. Turning his head, he asked, “What did you say? Take me away to where?”

I was so terrified that I had broken out in cold sweat. I continued to be frozen for another three seconds before I had the ability to explain, “To a safe place.”

The young master looked as if he did not completely understand. He cocked his head and asked, “The karaoke place should count as safe right?”

I raised my head, realizing that we had already arrived at the place known as KTV [2].

I got off. The young master parked the motorcycle to a side parking lot, took the keys, and made to leave.

“Young master, won’t we be putting any locks on the motorcycle?”

I was very worried. The young master’s motorcycle is obviously not ordinary; no matter how many locks put on, it may still not be enough. When we leave the karaoke, will we still have a vehicle to ride……Although I really do want to sit in a taxi, but I definitely cannot just watch the young master’s motorcycle be stolen.

The young master patted my shoulder. He smiled happily and said, “Don’t worry, I didn’t lose the guards my brother sent. They’ll watch the motorcycle for me.”

I was stunned. So that was the case.

The young master and I stepped into KTV. The store’s decorations had a very science fiction feel to it, and it was a place where many teenagers came to relax. As soon as we entered, the young master began to curiously inspect everything in the surroundings; he seemed to take an especial interest in the scrap pieces of cybernetic prosthetics hung on the wall.

I casually chatted, “The young master doesn’t seem to like enhancements? I do not seem to have seen anywhere that you have done any modifications.”

The young master looked at me. He laughed and said, “What do we do now?”

I took in his response. He is already not as panicked as he was yesterday night. This is good; first bringing the young master to become familiar had been correct. Humans tended to become anxious and scared of places they have never been to, but they are also very adaptable to new environments.

I explained thoroughly, “Right now, we should tell the store assistants that we want to sing and that we need a new booth.”

The young master behaved very well. Calm and composed, he maintained a small smile, while waiting. At the end, I even saw a female store assistant secretly give a piece of paper to him.

We followed the guide, and the young master smiled bitterly as he showed me the piece of paper. On top was a name and phone number.

Amused, I said, “Isn’t this good? The young master is a lady-killer!”

The young master handed me another piece of paper. Impishly, he said, “The other female store assistant wanted me to pass this on to you. This is also good! Mister butler is also a lady-killer.”

“The young master shouldn’t tease me,” I smiled bitterly, shaking my head. “Charles is not as handsome as you.”

Amused, he said, “Charles, could it be you don’t look in a mirror often?”


I looked at the guide in front of us. Although the latter was currently leading the way, he was walking very slowly; obviously, he was currently perking his ears and eavesdropping [3]. I smiled faintly and said, “Young master, we are almost there. We can talk about it later.”

As soon as we entered the booth, the guide had finished his job and was forced to leave.

The young master paid absolutely no attention to the surroundings, only looked at me directly as if waiting for an explanation. I laughed, then opened the restroom door and stood in front of the mirror.

I was standing in between him and the mirror, but the mirror showed the unobstructed reflection of the young master.

I turned to see a wide-eyed young master. Feeling slightly amused, I explained, “Young master, mirrors cannot reflect me. Even cameras have no way of leaving behind a trace of a vampire.”

“Then how do you know what you look like?” the young master was very startled.

Softly smiling, I said, “For a transformed vampire, they would already know what they look like. For a natural vampire like me, most of the time they would need to ask an artist to draw their portrait. But, I have never done so. My father told me that, for a butler, being neat and clean is more important than appearances.

The young master nodded. “Charles’ clothes definitely look very neat!”

Speaking of clothes, I was reminded of the simple clothes inside the young master’s closet. “Young master, you should buy some clothes.”

“I have clothes,” he cocked his head and said slightly uncertainly.

“Young master, modern teenagers now very rarely wear t-shirts,” Then, I reminded tactfully. “If the young masters wishes to fit in better with classmates, then you should wear some more youthful clothes.”

Although I also do not like the clothing of this era’s teenagers, but, if the young master wishes to improve his relationship skills, he should not be dressed like a teenager from a century ago.

The young master smiled. “Alright! Let’s go to buy some clothes together sometime. You can help me choose.”

He spread his hands and said helplessly, “You know, I really do not know how to tell what looks good or not. Like before, two of my classmates wore clothing that was not much different. Both of them looked the same to me, but my classmates’ reactions were completely different; one was laughed at, and the other one a lot of female students admired. It’s very weird!”

The young master’s “not much different”……I’m afraid it might be the difference of about one hundred years?

Fortunately, as a butler, helping the master choose clothes was a fundamental ability, so I have always been paying attention to fashion trends. I immediately replied, “Understood.”

The young master smiled, then he looked left and right, his gaze settling on the song selection machine. In a moment, his face became anxious, and he immediately called, “Charles, Charles, what are these things?”

“Don’t be nervous, young master.”

I smiled warmly, and after the young master seemed to relax some what I walked to the song selection machine. As I chose songs, I said, “Charles will first help you select some songs for you to try and listen to.”

I selected some of the current top songs: lyrical love songs, light songs, and rock songs so see which genre the young master would prefer.

After the three songs had finished playing, I smiled and asked, “Which song does the young master like best?”

He said honestly, “I still feel that Beethoven’s Fate Symphony sounds better. Tchaikovsky’s Sixth Symphony and the Pathetique Symphony also sound very good.”

Perhaps, the young master is not a teenager from a century ago, but from two centuries ago?

I considered for a moment. The Fate Symphony had very heavy beats. Perhaps the young master would prefer songs with heavier rhythms? Experimentally, I picked some of these type of songs.

After half of the song had played, the young master’s eyes shone. Without needing me to ask, he immediately called, “This sounds better.”

Relieved, I nodded. Fortunately, the young master does not only like symphonies. Then, I asked, “Young master, I will first play the song with the original vocals. After listening to it a few times, you will be able to sing it.”

Hearing this, the young master said a bit anxiously, “Alright.”

But, after the song had played only once, the young master said, “I know it.”

I nodded and selected the song again; this time, I took out the vocals, leaving only the music so that the young master could sing it himself.

As soon as the music started, the young master opened his mouth and started to sing. I was astounded, ad I only dazedly listened to him finish singing the entire song……

After the song finished, the young master anxiously looked at me with wide eyes and asked, “Was my singing alright?”

I said a bit uncertainly, “Young master……”

“Did I sing badly?” the young master asked hurriedly.

“Young master, you sang very well.”

I diligently tried not to make any weird expression as I explained, “But, typically, a normal person would not be able to sing with exactly the same sound as the original vocals, with even the same manner of singing.”

If it weren’t for the fact that I had seen for myself that the young master was singing, I would have thought that it was really just the original vocals…… Looks like the young master’s secrets are not less than his unusual secret work room.

“Then—then how should I sing?” Even more panicked, the young master stuttered, “I—I don’t know how else to sing.”

I hurriedly comforted warmly, “Young master, just using your original voice is fine. I’ll select the song again. Relax and use your speaking voice to sing.”

But, when the song began, the young master only held the microphone, stuttered a few words, then silently watched the screen in a daze. Then, he looked at me with heartbreaking expression. “Charles, you sing first.”


I examined the song selection screen, wanting to choose an easier song to sing so that the young master could learn more easily. At this time, the young master also moved closer, and I immediately shifted to the side so that the young master could see the screen more clearly.

“Charles!” he said in surprise, pointing at one of the song names on the screen. “Look, this song is called “Vampire”!”

I looked at the screen and nodded. “I know that song.”

“Sing it for me!” the young master’s eyes were shining.


I selected the song and picked up the microphone. When the music began, I started to sing……

The ancient clock tolls twelve times
The lid of the old, worn coffin opens

The lovely, charming sunlight
Has already been swallowed by the black curtain

Don’t yell
It’s nothing
The night is the haunt of the crazy darkness

Don’t look
Quietly sleep
The day does not have the fearsome vampires

Vampires step into the streets, sucking blood as their favorite liquor [4]
Do not call Hallelujah, God is on vacation; Maria is quietly sleeping,
I elegantly sweep my cape and bare my fangs; do not move, I am very gentle;
When you meet a vampire, hurry and scream
God Bless You

After I finished singing, the young master was laughing so hard that he had almost rolled off the sofa and onto the ground.

I took out a comb and helped the young master comb his messy hair, then I straightened his shirt. Laughing, he said, “Charles, Charles, do you have a cape?”

“In this era, no vampire would wear a cape onto the streets,” I replied honestly. “As soon as I wear a cape, rather than think I am a vampire, people would more likely think I am an actor and ask for pictures.”

Hearing this, the young master laughed for another long period. Finally, he asked curiously, “Then, do you really sleep in a coffin?”

The young master has never entered my room; when I was moving he had been in class, so he has never seen what is inside. I nodded and explained briefly, “I sleep inside a metal pod that is similar to a coffin. It is far more solid than a coffin, and if I were attacked it would also wake me.”

This time, the young master did not laugh. Instead, he furrowed his brows and asked, “Metal pod……Isn’t that difficult to sleep in? Why don’t you sleep on a bed?”

“It’s too bright. Only the complete darkness could let me sleep in peace.”

Although this was not something I should tell a human, I did not want to spoil the young master’s interest. I explained carefully, “If it were not complete darkness and there was just the smallest sliver of light, my rest would not be complete. For a short time this is no problem, but if it goes on for too long I will become weak.”

“Oh,” the young master nodded. He didn’t continue to ask about vampires but pointed to the screen and said, “I want to learn this song.”


Then, the young master very happily began to sing with his original voice. He sang extremely happily, singing just the song of a vampire three times. I took the opportunity to add in the earlier song with the heavy beats, and as soon as he heard the song, he was stunned. But, he automatically started to sing a few phrases, revealed a startled expression, and then continued to finish the song.

After the beginning, the remainder was much easier. I sang a song, and then the young master would sing it again. The young master’s learning ability was really very high; after listening to it only once, he can sing the entire song through.

Like this, we sang for three hours until the store assistant came to ask whether we would like to add some more time. I looked at the young master, who did not seem to have any intention of stopping any time soon, and then I opened my mouth to tell the assistant to add another two hours……

The young master breathed in alarm, “Oh no! I forgot to call my brother!”

I immediately changed what I had been about to say, “No need. Please help us bring the bill.”

When we walked out of KTV, the young master’s mood was extremely good. He continued to sing to himself under his breath, mostly singing “Vampire”—It looks like I should buy him the CD.

When we arrived in the parking lot, the young master’s motorcycle really was still there; the bodyguards were really responsible. The two of us went to the motorcycle’s side, and the young master put on his safety helmet. I was just about to put on my helmet as well……


I turned around. Two people were rushing towards us with guns in their hands. With expressions of excitement, they glanced at the young master’s motorcycle and yelled, “Bring over your wallets and helmets then leave!”

I furrowed my brows. The robbers were pointing their guns at the young master, yet those bodyguards still do not come out?

I looked at the young master, but he had already put on his full-face safety helmet which had a visor that reflected silver from the outside. Since I could not see his face, I could not distinguish the young master’s expression, and I was uncertain how I should act.

“Hurry and leave!” the robbers were already impatient, their guns ready to shoot at any moment.

I furrowed my brows. I was about to move to block the young master, but I saw the young master reach into his chest unhurriedly as if he were reaching for a handkerchief……But, he took out a hand gun.

This extreme reaction caused both me and the robbers to be stunned. The criminals were just thinking of first starting fire, and I was still hesitating on whether I should go up and block or allow the as-of-yet-unseen bodyguards to act, when the young master already shot without warning. He fired extremely quickly, so fast that it sounded as if there were only one gunshot.

But, I could tell that there had been a total of four gunshots: two that shot away the robbers’ guns, and two that shot their knees.

The robbers fell onto the ground, hugging their knees and crying in pain. The young master nonchalantly put the hand gun back to his chest with the same casualness as if he were returning a handkerchief.

I was not sure what to say. I could only commend, “Young master, excellent shooting.”

The young master opened his visor and smiled at me. Then, he yelled to the surroundings, “Don’t kill them or else!”

I was stunned. I had to think for a moment before I understood; the young master was talking to the hidden bodyguards.

“Come on, Charles.”

I turned. The young master was already starting the motorcycle. I stepped on, thinking, Perhaps I was mistaken. The young master may be a practical combat student, not a theoretical combat student.

The next day, when the young master came back from classes he gave me a portrait done in oil painting that was so exact, it was like a photograph. The black haired man in the painting was wearing a western vest and tie, with a warm smile and eyes like gentle, emerald lakes.

I raised my head to look at the young master.

Smiling, he said, “This is the you I see, Charles.”

I could not help but look back down to examine the picture. The person in the painting had features resembling dear father. It looks like this was definitely my appearance. Only, what is with the gentleness of the person in the portrait?

Although I have never seen myself, every vampire I had ever met had a sinister charm. There has never been a vampire that would give people a gentle feeling.

Perhaps, the young master had drawn out his own biased thinking? Does he feel that I am very gentle?

I looked up to thank the young master, but caught a scent coming from him……the scent of food—a vampire’s food. Blood.

But, smelling it carefully, I felt that it was slightly unusual. The scent was a bit strange, as if it weren’t real blood.

Filled with uncertainty, I could only ask, “Young master, are you injured?”

“Ah,” the young master said indifferently. “I only scratched my arm.”

I was stunned at the young master’s nonchalance, but I immediately remembered that he was a combat student. Being injured was probably common!

“Is it serious? Should I call a doctor……” I started to ask worriedly before stopping, suddenly realizing that in the cell phone Kyle gave me there had been no name for a doctor.

At this time, the young master pulled up the sleeve of his left arm.

I sucked in my breath at the sight. On the young master’s forearm was an injury that was almost twenty centimeters long, jagged and very unclean; it did not seem like it had been caused by a weapon. It definitely needed stitches, perhaps even a tetanus shot to prevent infection.

“There’s no need to call a doctor. I already put on the blood clotting medicine, and later I’ll put on the artificial muscle to repair…”

The young master had been saying casually when he suddenly stopped halfway and looked up at me with an expression as if he were not certain whether to speak or not.

I immediately took the hint and changed the topic. “Young master, do you need Charles to help you wrap bandages?”

“No, no need to wrap bandages,” the young master was a bit uncertain, but he still shook his head.

“No need to wrap bandages”, not “no need to help me wrap bandages”?

I bent my head and lowered my eyes, replying respectfully, “Yes.”

The young master stood in his original place silently. He did not leave to wrap bandages or tell me that I could do the chores, so I could only stand in the same place and wait. Not long after, the young master asked uncertainly, “Charles, do you feel that……I am very strange?”

I raised my head to see the young master looking at me very timidly. I laughed, and rather than replying I asked in return, “Young master, do you feel that a vampire butler is strange?”

The young master was stunned for a moment, then laughed.

“Very strange! Charles is this strange; that’s great!”

[1]車毀「鬼」亡”—Literally means “car mash, ‘ghost’ dead”. In Chinese, vampire is 吸血鬼 (blood-sucking ghost), so the “ghost ()” part of the phrase is also a pun/reference to part of the phrase for “vampire (吸血鬼)”.

[2] KTV – KTV is a karaoke place in Taiwan where youngsters like to hang out and sing karaoke. Not sure if China has them or if the US does (I know I’ve seen a few karaoke places, but they’re not called KTV).
[3] 拉尖耳 – literal translation, “pulling sharp ears to listen secretly”.
[4] Actually, the translation is “beverage”, but “liquor” sounded better, hence…


  1. Thank you again! Its a great chapter. You also update fast. You're great too! I love it!

  2. Thank you so very much for another chapter!!

    Btw, Charles has the soul of a mother!

  3. LOL Ariel, you are SO correct... xDD He acts like a mother to Daren and even Devon later.... It's so funny.

  4. OMG!! Act as a mother to the Solaris Emperor is a great feat!
    Charles is really unique!

  5. Asmodea,
    Could you post something about "GOD" and "No Kill", please? Unfortunately I know nothing about them... sob sob

  6. Haha, Charles is really amusing... xD I love him. Devon's personality is as funny as ever later as well lol.

    Sure! I'll go hunting to see if I can find a summary about them and I'll translate it if I find them. :p

  7. Thanks for the fast and quality translations. Can't wait to read more

  8. I feel kind of bad to peek on other people's conversations but... If Charles becomes devon's mother, and in eclipse hunter Devon is said to be like Daren's mother by Mr avery... then... Shold Dvon become his brother grandma and charless have to mary mr. Avery?

    Talk about a messed up family @_@ XD